tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7310628659208472791.post1282108845869364480..comments2023-09-30T08:38:47.842-04:00Comments on Sister Sarah's Excellent Adventure: on being a princessSarah SSMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14800966903282350022noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7310628659208472791.post-34108546374583874342011-02-10T15:17:59.241-05:002011-02-10T15:17:59.241-05:00I'm with the commentors so far. My Katie neve...I'm with the commentors so far. My Katie never gave three licks about Disney (except visiting the theme park, and Pooh Bear--but she's never watched most of the movies) or Disney princesses, and probably my favorite parenting moment to date was when, at age four, she looked her grandma's well-being friend in the eye and said, "BARBIES? I don't have any Barbies. I have a real pony." However, I've come to see that what we think of as stereotypical role-playing is really just part of growing up. There's a certain age at which most boys and most girls start to conform to what we think of as boy or girl play. When Katie was born, I gave three-year-old Matthew a doll so he could have a baby to take care of, too, but he ignored it in favor of his box of Matchbox cars. Katie's been more in favor of stuffed animals than dolls, but she reads any book with Princess in the title. It's all good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7310628659208472791.post-48391631204655225952011-02-08T08:50:50.428-05:002011-02-08T08:50:50.428-05:00As a mom who was deeply involved in the anti-war m...As a mom who was deeply involved in the anti-war movement in the late 60's, I swore my sons would never play with GI Joes or have play guns. Well, I backed off when I learned that GI Joe and action figures were the lingua franca of boyhood. I held firm on the guns, only to watch sticks of various sizes turn into a bloody arsenal. All three of my sons grew up to be warm, caring, and peaceful (within the rubric of being guys).<br /><br />When I read the princess article, I had a number of reactions: <br /><br />1) Wouldn't it be more profitable for the mother to participate in princess-hood with her daughter, rather than turn this into an abstract exercise in worrying? The woman next door to me, at the insistence of her daughters, was the "brue" princess to their purple and yellow princesses. They would dress up in an appropriately colored gown and have adventures. <br /><br />2) If the author has so little faith in her skills as a mother, can't she at least have faith in her daughter? Children take what they see and transform it by imagination into something that helps them learn and grow.<br /><br />3) Somebody hasn't been paying enough attention to the Disney princesses. They are a variety of races--with appropriately shaped facial features--and they are strong-minded individuals who save themselves. Yes, they all fall in love and end up happily ever after, but there is nothing intrinsically wrong with that goal.<br /><br />4) The real threat, to me, is the commercialism. So, don't dump your loot in the Disney aisle. When I was a young girl, we had a barrel in the basement of my mother's old clothes. My sister and I and our friends would dress up and range the neighborhood in whatever identities we had adopted for the day. Add a few sparkly pink Disney items to a barrel of clothes collected from second hand shops and you not only have the makings of princesses, but my childhood favorite: going to League of Women Voters' meetings. For that one, however, you MUST have a clip board.Sarah Larsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7310628659208472791.post-52869173725747627862011-02-07T16:23:06.344-05:002011-02-07T16:23:06.344-05:00You all are making me happy. (-:You all are making me happy. (-:Sarah SSMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14800966903282350022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7310628659208472791.post-33202840955587706372011-02-07T16:17:10.778-05:002011-02-07T16:17:10.778-05:00I am a mother of a self proclaimed queen (she had ...I am a mother of a self proclaimed queen (she had her own imaginary island that she ruled!) who can hunt, fish, ride and muck a stall with the best of them! Our daughter has grown into a confident, smart, compassionate young Christian woman who spent a lot of time watching Cinderella. She knows how to dress, walk and speak beautifully and has a passion for all things lovely. She is strong in her opinions and not afraid to voice them! The point is she is who she is regardless if we had put Thomas in her hands or a tiara on her head!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7310628659208472791.post-34248510258242484512011-02-07T16:14:46.712-05:002011-02-07T16:14:46.712-05:00I think we should all stop worrying. Maybe the boo...I think we should all stop worrying. Maybe the book has more, but this clip offers only anxiety and worry. I think it says more about the mother than the daughter. It is as likely that princesses are going to turn our girls into helpless maidens as it is that videogames are going to turn our boys into murderous lunatics. Everybody take a deep breath, and realize that the younger generation has been going to hell in a handbasket for thousands of years. It's right there in the Bible. You can look it up. :-)<br /><br />Princesses are a phase, probably because it comes at an age when girls are trying to figure out what it means to be a girl. My daughter was the original girly girl -- pink dresses, princess outfits, princess sheets, breakfast with Disney princesses. And now she is figuring out to get into Harvard and Tufts, and planning for the day when she has her own veterinary practice. We recently took down the princess curtains and repainted her room sky blue; she prefers blue to pink. She even wears a couple hand-me-down sweatshirts from her brother. <br /><br />I played with Barbie growing up, and I'm now preparing to be ordained a priest -- a job women just didn't hold when I was small. Indeed, I was 6 before the Episcopal Church even permitted women to be ordained. And yet, here I am. <br /><br />My babysitter, Gwen, did the princess thing too, and she's now, in her second year of college, running the campus shuttle system as second in command, giving drunk college kids a ride and what-for, as needed. If princess passion (not to mention years of ballet) made her a "girlie girl," it's of the "not taking any of your #$%S" variety. <br /><br />When Eric was two, I bought him a baby doll. Over the next few years, I observed how what he did with the toy, and then what his sister did with it. Eric and his cousin Wyatt would take the doll outside, and an hour later I'd find it naked face down in the mud. Give it to Becky and her cousin Amelia, and an hour later it was bathed, dressed, given a bottle, and tucked into bed. (And let's note, for the record, that Wyatt and Amelia's primary caregiver was their dad.) I do not think that proves Eric will be a bad father. I think it just means boys and girls can be different. So what?<br /><br />Children are far more resilient and far more individual than we give them credit for. They are not blank slates for us to write on, and princess dresses will not turn a strong-willed girl into a simpering, helpless Snow White. My hunch is that every girl everywhere goes through a phase where she tries on an exaggerated gender role, but if we were all stuck in what we tried on at 2, most of us wouldn't be who we are today. Far more influential than Disney princesses are the ways we see our mothers and our fathers interacting with the world and each other. So what the heck? By the time she's 6 or 7, she won't be caught dead in a princess dress anyway. Let her try it on and discover where it doesn't fit comfortably, where it constrains and even annoys. (And enjoy it while it lasts, because it's fun!) Personally, I think girls -- and kids in general -- do better when we are willing to let them dream their own dreams, instead of insisting they dream the dreams we approve for them, even when that means princess dresses instead of Little League. But feel free to ask me again in 10 years!<br /><br />And feel free to check out my blog post on Tiger Moms, my daughter, and Little League at http://suzanne-wadingin.blogspot.com !Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05895223025821195506noreply@blogger.com